he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
