Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize