Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
