now i know why i became what i already was.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We left an ass print on the piano.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
