Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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