This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
