an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In other news, I just burned my penis
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
