this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
