So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
