im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
