planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
