Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its about making memories worth repressing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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