fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have to summon your inner elephant
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
