lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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