I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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