Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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