Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
