Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
