They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
