I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
