That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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