she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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