i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
