i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
