My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
