I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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