At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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