Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
