the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
