i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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