thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
