How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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