We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
