Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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