All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize