How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
