You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
