i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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