Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
