Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
