Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
