Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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