He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My ass is underappreciated
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
