So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Enjoy the penises
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
