Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize