ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
