I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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