Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
