I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
