how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
