Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize