Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
