i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
