After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
