Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
