Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In America we eat man semen.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
