he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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