I need help removing her.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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