so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
