ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
