She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
