At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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