Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
