Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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