so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
